Lost Humanity
by ProblematiqueRoyale
Summary: After losing Damon/Enzo in the season 7 finale, Bonnie searches for a way to turn their humanity back on. Learning that one of Damon's longest bouts without humanity was in the '50s, she configures a spell to take her back to reason with him. As she longs for the Damon she knew, she learns that her feelings for him may be stronger than she thought. Bamon! (I own nothing.)
1. Chapter 1

I got the idea for this after reading Adverse Effect by Farie Insignias and watching the miniseries 11.22.63. For this fic, we're pretending Plec didn't screw Bonnie over and take her magic after season 7. :) This is my first TVD fic. Enjoy!

 **Chapter 1**

"I want to help you help him," Stefan Salvatore urged as he paced the space in front of the fireplace in the Salvatore boarding house.

Bonnie Bennett looked up from her grimoire. She was thinner than usual and her curls, which had grown, were limp. She looked as if she had given up already. Stefan couldn't stand to see her like that, the fire gone from her being. The will gone. It wasn't like her. But if he had any idea what Damon and Enzo meant to her, he could understand why she was so dejected.

It had been about six months since Damon and Enzo had been possessed by the creature in the vault. They had tried to track the two vampires when they heard about the string of murders along the west coast, but it hadn't gone well.

They had tracked down Damon in an empty coffee shop in a small California town. He was surrounded by bloodied bodies, which looked almost as if Ripper Stefan had had his way with them. Damon wouldn't tell them where Enzo was.

His voice was cold and hard and not his.

"The gang came to Cali! What a nice surprise." He turned to see Bonnie and a ghost of his signature smirk appeared on his face. It was more of a leer now.

"There's nothing you can do to bring me home, witchy," he laughed icily. The sound combined with his old nickname for her sent a shudder down her spine.

"Not even Elena herself could stop me," he continued, and when he saw the look of discomfort pass across Bonnie's face, "You do realize I only ever loved her, right? When I was still capable of love? There was nothing for me with you. It's funny that you thought there ever was. 1994...Hell, even Enzo has forgotten about you..."

Stefan and Caroline had steered Bonnie out of the room as Damon's fangs extended and he disappeared in the other direction. She hated the awkward tension between them that he had caused and she hated that he wasn't himself. And she missed Enzo. But maybe it was a good thing that she didn't have to see exactly how he had "forgotten" about her already. That had been two months after their disappearances.

Now, she blinked in Stefan's direction. "Has he ever been this bad?"

"Damon is in a different kind of evil right now. His humanity isn't off he's literally being possessed. But, he did have a long bout without his humanity when he left Enzo at the Augustine Society."

"I remember Enzo telling me. Damon had the switch flipped for decades, didn't he?"

"Yeah, and I don't even know what turned it back on," Stefan said. "It was a nightmare-for everyone involved, especially him."

"Do you think he could have turned his humanity back on sooner with some sort of trigger?"

"I'm not sure. Katherine Pierce may have been able to turn him around if she had showed her face." He paused. "Or a love like Katherine's."

"What do you mean? Elena?" Bonnie was confused. Stefan kept looking at her with his signature serious look.

"I know you are-were-with Enzo, but I know you had a special connection with my brother. I noticed it ever since you got back from the prison world," he said slowly. He had never openly voiced this before.

"Look, I know what you might think you know, but there's nothing more than a strong friendship between us. He told me himself; he loved me the way Elena did." It was hard for her to use the past tense.

"Do you really believe that?"

Silence.

He decided to let it go. "However you want to put it, you inspire strong feelings in each other. Feelings that should be able to turn his humanity back on, despite the bullshit he fed us in California."

"What do you want me to do? Track him down again only to have him laugh in my face?"

Part of her wished Enzo wasn't gone too, so she could at least take comfort in being with him. And so she wouldn't feel so guilty about missing Damon more. How was that even possible after everything he put her though? She hated herself for it.

Stefan had an odd look on his face. "What if you had a chance to work with post-Augustine Damon? To try to flip his switch?"

"Yeah let me catch a ride next time I see Marty McFly," Bonnie scoffed. But Stefan was still serious.

"You've done so much with magic, Bonnie. You literally lived within 1994 for months. Don't you think you could try to manipulate time to try to talk to him? See if you could make a difference?"

He was crazy. And she didn't like him bringing up 1994. Not that anything had happened. She just didn't like it.

Her face was wary. "I'm not very keen on putting myself in that kind of situation, especially being black..." she said, thinking of America pre-Civil Rights Movement.

"Humanity or not, he was more rational than you'd think, if that's what you're worried about," Stefan said. "Being raised in the 1850s–with our father at that-gives you a different perspective for the rest of your life."

"I don't know, Stefan," she was still uneasy. "I'm not even sure I can get the spell right."

Caroline took that moment to walk into the house. "Oh, you told her!" She had obviously heard the conversation as she got out of her car outside. "I think it's a pretty good idea," she smiled at Stefan.

 _Of course you do_ , Bonnie thought.

"I'll think about it," she said aloud. They nodded.

The two women could see the pain behind Stefan's smile. He just wanted his brother back.

Bonnie did too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 _A/N: Thanks to everyone who has followed/favorited or left reviews! I'm glad you like it. This chapter is still pretty short but some will be longer. Keep letting me know what you think/what you want to see! *I do not own these characters.*_

Bonnie drove to the boarding house two days later. She was back at her dorm at Whitmore while Stefan and Caroline had stayed in Mystic Falls. The dorm felt empty, but she figured she might as well continue her education. Not that anything she learned was relevant to the catastrophe that had been her life for the last few years.

The whole Elena bond had been the icing on the fucking cake. After spending years putting Elena first, she was forced to feel guilty for breathing because Elena continued to sleep while she did. And you know who wouldn't let her forget it? Damon. She still remembered the speech he gave her in her own mind on Elena's porch.

 _You screwed me, all right_ , he had said. It still hurt.

As she pulled into the drive, she smiled to herself. If she was going to force him to turn his humanity back on after turning his back on her boyfriend, she was going to make it hurt even more.

"Are you sure you've mastered the spell? You need to be able to come back when you're ready!" Caroline urged. As much as she hated Damon, she wanted him and Enzo back because they made Bonnie happy.

"Yeah, I've got it. Surprisingly, Grams used this spell a lot," Bonnie said. She had found detailed notes next to the spell in her grimoire.

Stefan entered the room. "I found an old dress of Lexi's for you to wear. You don't want to stick out too much."

The dress was long, with a full skirt and a pale blue and white checkered pattern. It sat off the shoulders. "It's beautiful," Bonnie said. It was also the last thing she would want to wear, but it would have to do.

After hurrying into the dress, Caroline styled her hair like a pinup model. She had watched hours of tutorials and was extremely proud of her work.

"You look amazing!" She gushed. Stefan nodded. "Are you ready?" he said.

"Yeah, let's flip this idiot's switch."

She began chanting. The boarding house faded around her. The spell was interesting. As soon as she returned to the present, it would be as if she had never visited 1956. It was simply a test, it wasn't real.

That's what she kept reminding herself when she found herself directly across the street from a bloodied 1956 Damon Salvatore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _A/N: I don't own these characters. Enjoy/Let me know what you think!_

He had just killed the love of Enzo's life. Enzo had told Bonnie about her and he hadn't used those words, but Bonnie knew them to be true.

He looked so different and yet the same. His hair was styled shorter but was longer in the front, hanging over his eyes. He looked lighter somehow, as if not even the despair of waiting for Katherine was hanging over his head. Below the hate in his eyes, there was also a twinge of pain that wasn't usually there-a different kind of pain than that inflicted by the loss of Katherine or Elena. It was the simple pain of being tortured for years as an Augustine vampire.

And yet his eyes were still as blue. Clear, infallible blue. The eyes that had seen her break down in 1994. The same eyes that had glinted coldly in California four months ago, not remembering or caring.

And his mouth. She wanted to wipe that incessant smirk off his face. The smirk that she loved and hated and loved to hate–was he born with it plastered across his flawless features?

She refocused herself. She couldn't look like she was stalking him. Stefan had told her that Damon would end up at a diner later that night. How he knew that, she didn't know, nor did she want to know.

When she walked in, she looked towards the back. There was a small corner where African Americans were sitting. She was surprised they were even allowed in the same restaurant. She took a seat at a small table in that area, forcing herself not to glare as a waitress lead a white man to a table in the more well-lit area of the diner and handed him a menu. She went to the counter and ordered a milkshake. It was almost funny that this was how the 50's actually were. A small TV in the center of the room showed the news. She watched as she drank the shake, trying to remember some of the events from history class.

About an hour later, the double doors at the entrance burst open and Damon walked in. This must have been when he started wearing his famous leather jacket, because it was shiny and new and looked good. _He must think he's a regular James Dean_ , she thought as he strutted in and sat at the counter. The waitress spent too much time serving him, flirting and smiling as she took his order.

"Damon! It's been too long. Will you have the usual? Of course I know how you like it!" It went on and on. His replies were unintelligible.

Bonnie couldn't figure out if he was compelling her or if she really was that desperate. Then she looked around to see that most of the women in the diner were stealing glances his way. Some were even blushing. Figures.

When he got his food, he ate it carelessly, like he wasn't hungry. _He probably isn't_ , Bonnie thought. _He's probably full of blood._

She got up to leave. She didn't want him to see her yet and the proximity was too close for her to watch him without being called out, especially since he was white and she was black. As she headed towards the door, he turned his head. Popping a fry into his mouth, she could feel the ice blue eyes on her back. _Shit_ , she thought.

She had magically transfigured a car from a newspaper on the sidewalk earlier. Not too flashy, the pale yellow thunderbird was parked in the lot towards the side of the diner. She hasn't dared park out front. Bonnie also had to find somewhere to stay for the rest of her little vacation. Stefan had suggested a few homes where she could crash. She tried to think about which one she would try first, but before she could make a decision she heard the doors of the diner open and she knew it was him.

She was unlocking her car when he called out.

"Where are you heading to this early?"

She shut her eyes tight before opening them and turning around. "What's it to you?"

He looked a little taken aback by her bold reply. _Shit_ , she thought again. She probably shouldn't talk to him that way but she couldn't help it. _This is New York, not Montgomery. It's not as bad here_.

He had lit a cigarette and was dragging it as he studied her. Ugh, why was Damon smoking so attractive?

"I haven't seen you around here before," he continued. "And I know everyone. You got a name?"

"I'm Bonnie."

"Well, isn't that lovely. What brings you to New York, Bonnie?" His eyes danced. Dammit, he probably wanted to suck her blood. She wasn't used to this.

She ignored his question. "Listen, I have to get going."

"You don't even know my name, Bonnie." He pronounced her name the same as always and it made him sound more like the Damon she knew best. Her name flowed off his tongue breathily, like his favorite tune.

When she didn't reply, he stepped closer. "I'm Damon, and I'm going to let you on your merry way for now, but I know everyone." He looked a little more sinister. She could tell his humanity was off more than ever. "So I intend to get to know you."

She suppressed a shudder. "Wonderful," she tried to sound cheerful as he leered again and sauntered away. Sinking into the seat of her car, she cursed herself. _What have I gotten myself into?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Bonnie had decided to stay with the family of a woman Stefan had told her about. She was a tall middle-aged woman who worked at a black high school in Harlem. She had helped Stefan when he was in trouble once, and took in boarders every once in awhile as long as they didn't make trouble.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay with you," Bonnie said. The woman, Mrs. Kelly, smiled warmly.

"No problem, honey, you can stay with us as long as you'd like."

She lived with her husband, John Kelly, and their 10-year-old son Daniel. Bonnie was given a small but comfortable room upstairs. She sat on the bed and looked at the notes Stefan had given her. They detailed Damon's movements for the next few years, his habits, his acquaintances. Stefan had tried to keep an eye on him during that time. _What does he want?_ she wondered. His actions didn't seem to have any purpose other than to inflict pain on others.

Bonnie got a job as a secretary at a small black newspaper so that she could follow the news inconspicuously. It was weird–She had never had a steady job before, aside from working part time in high school and working for the school paper at Whitmore. She wanted to write but she figured that was out of the question, especially with no experience or resume. A week after her arrival, she left the office to follow Damon again.

She walked outside into humid air. It had been raining. New York was so different than it was in the present. It was just as loud and busy but in a different way. All the women wore heels. All the time. It was wearing on her. But she kind of liked how put together everyone looked all the time. The city was bright with advertisements that lit the streets even at night.

Walking through the city, she remembered Damon leaving her in New York, to desiccate beside Elena's body. _You don't get to say goodbye,_ she had said. A pang of sadness hit her but she shook her head, ignoring it.

She smoothed her dress and straightened the matching hat. It was a long, deep green number with a square neckline. She loved the fashion, she couldn't lie.

Turning a corner, she spotted him. He was strolling down the street with a gleam in his eye, damp leather jacket catching the streetlights. As he walked closer, she saw blood dripping down each side of his mouth. His hands were red with blood, too.

She walked towards him and he saw her.

"Why look who it is!" He feigned happy surprise. "Bonnie, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He didn't even try to hide the blood on his face. "You look ravishing," he added.

She was slightly taken aback. Why was he talking to her like this? She figured Stefan was right about the status of Damon's prejudice. He'll go for anything with a heartbeat, she thought. Literally.

"I'm just-" What _was_ she doing? Other than following him? She had to think quickly.

"Fancy a drink?" He interrupted her. She didn't want to think about what he actually meant by that, and tried not to show any signs of fear.

"I guess I have no choice." She knew from Stefan's notes that he was planning to go to the bar a few blocks up the street. There was a man there who he would drain of blood and leave on the floor. Damon later compelled every soul inside.

When she sat down at a table across from him, he smirked. She still couldn't get over the fact that it wasn't really his smirk. It was darker.

"So, I'll ask again. What brings you to the Big Apple?" His face belonged on a movie screen. She shook her head imperceptibly to rid herself of the thought.

"Looking for work, change of scenery."

"I see." He still had blood on his mouth. She was disgusted and in awe at the same time. There was something about this Damon that intrigued her. The lightness in the absence of feelings for Katherine or Elena was refreshing, as though it allowed him to show his true colors. Were these his true colors, though? Was he really this evil? She had to remind herself that his humanity was off. But honestly he was a terrible person either way.

So why was his friendship all she could think about? They had grown close over the past few years, until he had left her all alone. Enzo had comforted her.

 _Enzo_. She should miss him more than this. But somehow it wasn't the same as missing him when he left her at their cabin. It was a whole different world there. Just the two of them. Now that she was away from that place, she didn't miss him the same.

"Hey, I asked you a question. Where are you from?"

She snapped back to reality. Or whatever this was. "Uh...Georgia." She lied. She had family there, anyway.

"Interesting." He stressed each syllable like he was tasting the word. "Well, Bonnie-from-Georgia, I think you know why I asked you here," he continued.

"I won't let you hurt-" she stopped as his eyes flickered towards the door. A man had walked into the bar. He was average height, with wavy brown hair, and he needed a shave. Damon's eyes narrowed and then widened in amusement as he vamp-sped across the room to stand inches from him.

"James."

"Look, Damon. I don't know what happened after you left and it's not my fault. Why can't you just let it go?" He tried to edge his way around him, glancing around uneasily. People were looking around. A woman across from Bonnie lowered her cigarette in anticipation.

"I tend not to let things go. Not really my thing." He sounded more like the Damon she knew. Not that it was comforting. He locked his fingers around James' throat. "Goodbye, old friend." Dark veins snaked around his eyes and his fangs extended. Bonnie closed her eyes as James' screams filled the bar.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 _A/N: Thanks to everyone who has followed/favorited or left reviews! Keep letting me know what you think. This is a longer chapter–enjoy!_

Damon strolled back to Bonnie's table after compelling everyone who had seen him casually murder James and quickly dispose of his body somewhere outside. She didn't want to know where–probably the dumpster.

"Who was he?" Bonnie asked. She tried not to sound too angry at the fact that he had just killed a man right in front of her.

"I fought with him in the war."

"Didn't you fight in World War II?" she asked.

"Yeah but…Wait, how did you know that?" His eyes narrowed, threatening. She tried to stay calm, smoothing her dress.

"I just assumed," she managed coolly, keeping her gaze level with his. History wasn't exactly her thing–unless she was discussing witch covens, thanks to Grams.

He didn't look convinced. "I know you know what I am. That's why I don't hide it," he gestured to the blood dripping down his face, grinning, fangs glinting. "And I also know I can't compel you…witch."

She forced herself not to blink, playing it cool.

He smoothed his gelled hair. _Why did he look so good with gelled hair?_ "Which is why you know that I couldn't have fought in the Second World War if I was mortal," he raised an eyebrow. "I would have been 13." The "eternal stud" had died in 1864, making his undead age 25 years old.

She tried not to picture a 13-year-old Damon. He had shared some of his experiences with her when Lily had returned: His father's abuse, his need to protect Stefan. She hated thinking about an innocent, human Damon. It worked against her need to distance herself from him.

"So why did you choose to spend your endless days fighting?"

"Just because I can't compel you doesn't mean I can't drain your body of every ounce of B positive." _Could he fucking smell her blood type?_ He kept talking. "After fighting in the Civil War as a human–" he said the word like it was disgusting, "–it's a wonderful stress-reliever to go to war knowing you can't die." He smirked slightly.

"It still hurts though." It wasn't a question.

He looked strange for a moment. Like he had forgotten something. "I used to seek pain just as much as I inflicted it," he paused and regained his resolve. "I was stupid back then." He shook his head as if to wave away the thought.

A bartender chose that moment to saunter over to their table. "Would you like another bourbon?" She smiled.

His eyes were cold as he looked up at her. "Let's just say I'm not stupid anymore." He grinned at Bonnie before yanking the bartender down by the arm, forcing her face to align with his as he compelled her. "Don't scream. You enjoy this. And you won't remember a thing when I'm done except the fact that you desperately tried to fix me a drink and I rejected you."

Bonnie looked on, and tried to conceal her disgust as he sank his fangs into the woman's neck and drank freely. When he was done, he moved her collar to conceal the wound and she walked away, looking dejected. He turned back to Bonnie carelessly. "The same _will_ happen to you if you're not entertaining anymore, witch, don't get me wrong. Sometimes I just like to play with my food first."

He had disappeared shortly after, leaving Bonnie sitting in the bar alone until she stood up slowly and made her way out. She hated vampire speed.

A few nights later, she was sitting in the living room of Mrs. Kelly's home, trying to read and failing. She didn't know why she was doing this. She didn't want to hurt herself anymore than he already had. Bonnie's deep thoughts must have appeared on her face, because Mrs. Kelly walked in and frowned when she saw her.

The living room was comfortable, but it looked like it had been furnished before her grams' time. Which it had. It unnerved her that the dated furniture was actually new, so the room didn't have that grandma smell. She couldn't believe the frilly curtains and rugs were in style. Mrs. Kelly sat on the sofa opposite Bonnie's wooden rocking chair.

"What's the matter, honey?" The woman was kind. Bonnie half-smiled.

"Nothing, Mrs. Kelly. I just had a long day at work."

"Are you enjoying it? Working as a secretary is one of the best ways to find a husband. It's how I met John." She smiled fondly, reminiscing their stereotypical, painfully average office romance. Or at least Bonnie imagined it to be so. She tried to play along.

"Yes, I hope I meet a nice man there, but there's no one in particular yet," she managed.

"Well, it shouldn't be hard for a girl like you to find someone. You don't want to wait too long," Mrs. Kelly pointed out. Bonnie realized that it was probably shocking that she wasn't married already, and she was all of 22.

"Don't I know it." She said brightly.

Mrs. Kelly smiled, missing the wry tone in Bonnie's voice. "I had better find Daniel and tell him to get to bed. He starts school tomorrow." Bonnie nodded as she left the room.

 _School_. It was early September. It was unnerving how things were so different. It was June when she had arrived. She wasn't sure how much time passed in the present while she was here–Grams' notes hadn't said. What if it had been years? She hated to think about that.

She left the small living room and made her way past the screened front door to sit on a bench on the porch. The house was situated in a quieter suburb a little ways outside of the city, but she could still hear voices and dogs parking. Mrs. Kelly had emphasized that this was the type of area that Bonnie should aspire to live once she meets her future husband. Then, she wouldn't have to work anymore. Bonnie smiled at the thought. She could never be a housewife. She had done and seen too much already. She was restless.

Maybe that's why she had grown so close to Damon. He was lively, even in death. He took chances and didn't care what people thought, except for Elena maybe. Sometimes Bonnie thought he didn't care what Elena thought either, though. She remembered his reaction when she found out about Krystal _with a K_. She missed their banter.

Bonnie kicked herself inwardly. Why was she so focused on him? On this? Why wasn't she looking for Enzo? He was off wreaking havoc on innocent people right beside Damon in 2016. Maybe it was because she knew that even without his humanity he could take care of himself. He didn't need her. Not the way he had needed Maggie James or Lily Salvatore. Did Damon need her differently than he had needed Katherine or Elena? Maybe. Bonnie always told things to him straight. She wasn't afraid to stand up to him. She knew it was good for him.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she noticed a figure walking up the short driveway. She glanced behind her. The house was dark, meaning the Kellys were asleep. She turned back towards the driveway. _Of course_. What the hell was he doing here?

"What the hell are you doing here?" She narrowed her eyes as Damon Salvatore sauntered up the driveway.

"Red. I like it," he acknowledged her scarlet nightdress. "Guess the stains won't show up when I'm through with you." He leered, teeth glinting in the moonlight.

"If you were planning to kill me, you would have done it already," she said, standing up. "So again, why are you here?"

"I felt bad for ditching you the other night. I can be so rude sometimes." He cocked his head to the side sarcastically. "My apologies."

"Is that all?" She tried to remember what he was up to according to Stefan's notes, but she couldn't remember. This was probably totally new territory since she had stepped in.

"I don't often cross paths with witches unless I want to. I want to know why you're really here."

"I already told you," she tried to keep her voice steady.

"If you don't give me a better answer, you can say goodbye to the oh-so-nice Kelly family." She could tell he wasn't joking. His voice had lost its playful tone to become all ice.

"I lost someone," she blurted. _What?_ "Someone I cared about. I was hoping to figure out why." _What did that even mean?_

"Do you think I killed them?" he assumed.

"In a way," she said. She _had_ lost him. In a way. But she wouldn't tell him that.

"Well I hate to break it to you but I don't really keep up with my victims. That's my brother's thing..." He looked odd for a moment and refocused when she spoke.

"Why did you kill James? That was obviously revenge. And then you just left."

"James tried to hurt me back when there was a slight possibility that I could be hurt. I've been waiting to kill him for years. He deserved what he got," he spat.

"What did he do to you, Damon?" Her voice was more tender than they both expected. Humanity-less Damon wasn't used to sympathy, and he didn't want it.

He spoke in a monotone. "Obviously, he thought I was human when we fought together in the war. He left me in a field in Germany after I'd been shot. Left me to die. Told our lieutenant I had been killed and there was nothing he could do. Nothing a little first aid couldn't have fixed. If not, he could have tried to recover my body. He just didn't care. I had fought the Germans with him for so long that I thought..." he trailed off. His face had softened a bit, but not much.

"You thought he was a friend?" she remembered how hard it had been for him to admit that they were friends. It had taken months of being in the prison world for him to admit it.

"I don't need friends, much less human ones."

"Then why didn't you find him and kill him once you healed?"

He pulled a comb out of his pocket and ran it through his hair, jet black. John Travolta style. He didn't reply.

"Listen, it's late. I should get back inside."

He shrugged and hopped off the porch. She saw him slide a flask out of his pocket and take a swig as he strolled down the darkened street.

When she got to her room, she looked out her window. He was lying in the road, arms behind his head, long legs crossed at the ankle. She knew what he was doing. She shut her eyes at the thought of an unsuspecting driver being murdered steps from the Kelly's front door. She muttered a spell to urge drivers to take an alternative route until morning. Looking back onto the street, she could still see him. He looked more like himself. Lost. Open. He thought no one was looking at him. She wanted to go out and talk to him, to try to reason with him to turn his humanity back on. She wondered if he could ever look like that now, after that thing had stripped him of empathy in the vault. She went to her dresser to brush her hair, and when she returned to the window he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 _A/N: So sorry for neglecting to post for so long! I've been busy with my summer internship. I hope y'all enjoy the chapter. You'll get to see things from a different point of view, that's for sure. ;)_

Bonnie slumped over her typewriter. She had no idea how anything got done with such a lack of adequate technology. Her fingers felt like they were about to fall off.

It had been a few weeks since she had last seen Damon lying in the middle of her street. According to Stefan's notes, he was due for a couple of killings up in Canada, of all places, and he was due to return within the next few days. She had been horrified to find that his next victims would be a classroom of students at Daniel Kelly's school.

She couldn't let that happen.

She knew that she wasn't actually allowed to change history. She couldn't actually stop Damon from killing those kids, and it hurt to think about it. And she probably wouldn't actually be restoring his humanity if she succeeded with this journey. But she needed to know how. How to get him to flip the switch. How to restore him to the man she knew and–

Hated. She caught a glimpse of familiar black leather and blacker hair outside the newspaper office. _What has he doing here?_ She had expected him to head to the diner to torment the waitress and eat French fries once he returned like usual. The poor girl wore an ascot at all times to hide the scars that riddled her neck.

Bonnie's shift was over anyway, so she made her way out of the office. Stanley, a friendly man who wrote breaking news stories, called out to her. "Heading out for the day, Bonnie?"

"Yeah, I'd better head home," she said.

He crossed the office and stood next to her at the door. He was wearing a light brown suit, and his smile crinkled the eyes on his open face. _So open._

"Do you think you could let me take you out tomorrow night?" he asked hopefully. Tomorrow was Saturday. Bonnie had made a few friends around the office and went out with some of the other secretaries sometimes. They insisted that Stanley was "sweet" on her, and that he was her chance at the perfect husband.

She figured she would humor him. She had nothing better to do besides stalk Damon and knit with Mrs. Kelly, anyway.

"I would love to, Stanley."

"Perfect. I'll pick you up at 7. You live with the Kelly's right?"

"That's right."

"Great. We can see a movie."

"Sounds good," Bonnie smiled. She loved old movies, that was for sure. It was one of the only good things about living in 1956.

She smiled to herself, thinking of the fact that she was living in the heyday of old Hollywood, the golden age, as she left the office. She had almost forgotten the vampire who was waiting in the driveway. He was leaning on a flashy black 1954 Corvette. She realized his precious '69 Camaro hadn't been made yet. It was weird to see him without it.

"Someone must be excited for _date night_ ," he smiled coldly.

"Why–"

He interrupted her. "I'm hankering for some fries."

She remembered his usual trip to the diner. _Why was he here?_

"Let's go."

Before she could protest, he added, "Or Sweet Stanley dies." Cue evil leer.

Bonnie pressed her lips together and slid into the seat of the shiny car. The engine was deafeningly loud. He parked in front of the diner. The sun was setting, casting a reddish color over the autumn sky. He sped to her side of the car to open her door as she smoothed her dress and gathered her purse. It was navy blue, but she was tired of the full skirts. As he lead her to the diner, she wondered why it was so easy to follow him now. _He_ came to _her_. It unnerved her. Then she realized something.

"We can't eat together, you know. If that's what you were planning." She tucked a dark brown lock behind her hair and patted her unnaturally large bob. The look suited her even though she wasn't totally comfortable with it.

His eyes seemed to register the colored section of the restaurant. "Did you forget who I am? If I want to eat with you, I'm going to eat with you or _eat_ anyone who gets in my way."

He sauntered into the diner and proceeded to fix his piercing blue eyes on each and every patron in the establishment. Even the children. She shifted her feet, thinking of the school classroom he was soon to massacre. _I can't let that happen_.

"I am enjoying a meal with my lady friend here, and she is allowed to sit wherever she likes. You won't give us any trouble or I _will_ rip out your heart and feed it to you." He finished compelling the last patron.

He turned to Bonnie. "After you," he gestured towards a small booth.

She ordered a milkshake and a hamburger. How were people supposed to eat like this and still fit into tiny dresses and suits? Was there a gym around here?

She decided to ask him. "How do people eat this food all the time? It's unhealthy."

"Beats me. I'm cut like a marble statue," he gave her another evil grin that looked unnaturally familiar. He wasn't lying; she had seen him shirtless in the present day. She tried not to think about it.

"Why did you want to eat with me?"

"I thought I'd show you a real date. Seeing as you think poor old Stanley can show you a good time."

"Why do you care?" she scoffed.

"I get bored," he shrugged and lit a cigarette.

"I didn't know you smoked. It's not good for you, you know."

"Yeah, because _I_ could get lung cancer and die," he rolled his eyes. "I've read the articles. They aren't even proven."

She realized that the research probably wasn't concrete yet. It threw her. Everything she knew was so uncertain here.

He offered her one. "Take the risk."

Would this affect her in the present? One couldn't kill her. She took the cigarette and placed it between her lips as he lit it for her with a heavy silver lighter. She took a drag. It wasn't bad, she supposed.

"I'm still going out with Stanley," she said, exhaling.

He shoved a few fries in his mouth. Flawlessly.

"I still might drain him, if I feel like it."

"You shouldn't drain anyone anymore, Damon," she said. "I know your humanity is off."

"Well thanks, Sherlock, I really appreciate the perception. But I do what I want, to whoever I want." His eyes glinted dangerously.

"I know, but–"

He slammed a fist on the table. "I might have decided to have you join me tonight, but that doesn't mean you can start telling me what I should and should not do," he interrupted. "I won't hesitate to snap your neck if you get on my bad side."

She stood up slowly. "I'll just leave you," she said. _For now._

Bonnie went outside and called a cab to head home. She was nervous. She had made him angry only a few nights before he was to kill those students. She turned around to see him heading outside behind her, and her heart skipped a beat.

He heard it. "Don't be nervous, little witch. A few years without humanity never killed anybody. Only I do." He whipped out his keys.

She swallowed when he called her his nickname from 2016. How did he arrive at the same one in 1956?

He winked and got into his car when her cab pulled up.

Damon Salvatore drove. He drove like his life depended on it. He drove faster than he had in years until he ended up back in Canada before he knew it.

 _Little witch_. Why the hell was he giving her nicknames? There was something odd about her. He couldn't stay away no matter how much he wanted to. He needed to.

The worst part about it all was that he wanted her blood. Badly. But he wanted to talk to her more. He wanted to know her. What kind of bullshit was that? What kind of humanity-less vampire wants to get to know some girl?

 _Stefan would be proud,_ he thought wryly. He had been so bored for so long and she had popped up. Why? It felt like she was x-raying him when she looked at him, like she could see through him. Nobody sees through Damon. Nobody knows how he operates.

So why does she look at him like she's known him for years?


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 _A/N: This chapter is pretty short but I will try to update soon. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story. :)_

The date with Stanley was going well. He was handsome and sweet, and the movie was spectacular. They were watching High Society, a recent release. She loved it.

"That was a great movie," Bonnie said as they exited the theater. New York was sparkling, and she looked beautiful in a black and white polka dotted dress and gloves. She carried a small patent leather purse that matched her black pumps. She felt like one of the starlets from the film.

Her beauty was not lost on Stanley. His eyes were glued to her as she spoke and he longed to hear her infectious laugh. She was different than other girls—she seemed stronger and more sure of herself. He knew he was lucky to have her.

"Would you like to get a drink?"

"Sure," she replied. They caught a cab and sat together in a cozy, dimly lit bar. He ordered her a Shirley temple and he drank a beer.

"Do you hope to be married?"

She was startled by his question. "I never really think about it. I have so much left to do," she said slowly and honestly.

"Really?" Stanley looked surprised. "Most girls your age think about it all the time."

"I supposed I haven't met the right person." _Would she have married Enzo? Would she marry him if he came back?_ She wasn't sure. She never thought about it that seriously.

"Well I hope you change your mind in the next few months. I'd love to take you out again," Stanley said carefully. _Was that a soft proposal?_ Bonnie was confused.

"I'd like that, Stanley," she managed.

He dropped her off at the Kelly house shortly after, and she sat on the porch for a while. Mr. Kelly emerged. "How did it go?"

"It went well. He's a nice man," Bonnie said.

"I'm glad. You deserve to have a good time." Mr. Kelly was a nice man too, but he was painfully normal. _So was Stanley_ , Bonnie sighed.

When Mr. Kelly went back into the house, Bonnie followed. She had returned to her room and gone to sleep when the sound of a car engine awoke her hours later. She hoped the Kelly's hadn't heard it. She knew whose engine that was.

When she stepped outside into the cold air, it was dawn. She shivered in her white nightgown. The sky was pink and orange as she looked into a pair of icy blue eyes, hair rollers and all.

"It's early, Damon."

"I wanted to let you know that I'm feeling pretty thirsty this fine morning," he said slowly. His eyes widened and they had the wild look that meant danger was coming.

 _The kids._

"Don't do anything stupid," she said, just as slowly.

"Keep telling me what to do and see what happens." _Does he sleep in jeans and leather?_

"Damon, please. Don't do this. Why are you even telling me? You must have reservations if you're coming to me first."

"Reservations? You're underestimating me. I came to let you know personally that Daniel Kelly is going to die. You can't change me," he laughed bitterly. "What makes you think you can?"

This was it. She had started to make it in but he was shutting her out. He was retreating back into a world without humanity because she had tried to get in. She had to try to stop him. _This was her chance to get in._

All of a sudden, he was gone.

Bonnie ran inside and got dressed. She pulled on some high-waisted pants and a blouse. When she got back downstairs, Daniel was preparing for school, eating breakfast. She couldn't help but wonder if Damon had paid her a visit to warn her to keep Daniel safe, in his own way.

"Daniel! School is…cancelled today. Last minute call from the principal. You can stay home!" He looked confused.

"Are you sure, Bonnie?"

"Of course! Here," she handed him the television remote. "You can watch your favorite cartoons, okay? Tell Mommy and Daddy what I told you." She rushed out of the door and jumped into her car, speeding towards the elementary school. The sun was up now, and the morning wasn't as chilly. She could see Damon's car parked in the middle of the drive as she pulled up. Thrusting her hand out, she put a protection spell on the building.

"Back for more?" she heard a voice behind her. He was leaning against a tree.

"Damon. Don't do this. I'll have to stop you," her expression was hard.

"Don't kid yourself, Sabrina. I will suck the life out of each and every person in this building and finish with you." His eyes widened crazily and he turned to head inside.

She twisted her fist, giving him an aneurism. Damon fell to the ground screaming. People started coming outside to see the commotion. He got close enough to push her, stopping the spell. He swung around and grabbed the first person he saw, clawing the shoulder of a teacher. Students screamed and more people rushed outside. _Why wasn't the school going into lockdown?_ Bonnie wondered. She shoved herself up, her hair flying around her as she tried to push Damon to the ground with magic.

He jumped up and vamp sped from student to student, blood spraying the pavement and dripping down his face.

"STOP! Damon, why are you doing this? I know you have your humanity off but why?" Bonnie cried between chants. She pushed out her palm to immobilize him and walked towards him. Chaos had broken. Kids were running around screaming, some bloodied; teachers were screaming all the same, the police had been called. They pulled up around the school, guns cocked.

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP," an officer shouted over a megaphone.

"Never enough," Damon said. "Never enough for anyone." His eyes were void of everything she recognized but hatred.

She increased her effort on the spell, and he blacked out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 _A/N: Sorry to keep y'all waiting. Thanks for all the reviews–Keep 'em coming. :) Enjoy!_

He woke up, bound with vervaine in her room. He immediately began to struggle against the ropes.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead," Bonnie said dryly.

"Fuck you," he spat.

"You have to compel those people. And the Kellys." She gestured outside of the room.

"What the _hell_ makes you think I would do that?"

"If you want to try this again, it would be a lot easier if everyone didn't know what you were. I have a feeling you aren't trying to leave the city any time soon."

"Fine." He grunted and looked down at the vervaine ropes. "Untie me."

She obliged, and he was gone. It was difficult, but he covered up the scene at the school and compelled the Kelly family. She was impressed. He was showing remorse. She didn't think he was finished, though. Not yet.

That night, Bonnie waited on the porch for him. She knew he would be there.

He appeared in the road like a ghost. It was raining and the leather jacket was soaked but he didn't seem to care.

"Why did you agree to compel those people?" She half-shouted against the rain as she made her way down the driveway. "You could have gone behind my back and killed them." She shuddered inwardly, hoping she wasn't giving him any ideas.

"Figured I didn't need to kill them all," Damon said quietly. She had to strain to hear him.

"Why?" she asked again. She was standing in front of him now.

He ignored her question and just looked at her, blue eyes piercing green. "Where are you from, Bonnie?"

"What? I told you, I'm from Georgia."

"I don't believe you," his voice was dangerously low. The veins around his eyes began to ripple.

"Why do you need to know so badly? I live here now, that's all there is to it." She tried not to sound too nervous. He was still staring at her, eyes boring into hers.

"You're different. And I don't think it's because you're from Georgia."

She didn't say anything for a moment. Then she decided to go for the truth because _fuck it_.

"Damon, I came here to find you," she held his gaze. "I need to learn how to turn your humanity back on. I knew you, in a different time, and I think you need me."

"I've never needed anyone." She couldn't read his expression. They were both drenched, and it started to thunder. Bonnie looked up to catch a flash of lightning above the Kelly house. Although it illuminated his already electric blue eyes, they looked more dead than she had ever seen them.

"Please," she said. "I just need to know what to do. Help me help you."

He was dangerously close to her face now. She stared back until he broke eye contact to raise a hand to touch her face. He slowly traced down her cheek to her lips, examining them, eyes widened slightly. When he met her eyes again, he spoke.

"I think you already know how, little witch." A ghost of that familiar smirk passed across his lips, and then he was gone.

Bonnie wandered the street for a while, looking for him. Calling out. Luckily it was late, so there weren't many people out. Part of her knew he wasn't coming back this time. But she was more confused than ever about what she had to do.

Soaked through and dejected, she grabbed her belongings back at the Kelly's and left some money on the kitchen table to thank them for their hospitality.

She placed a hand to her lips, still feeling where his fingers had traced. _What the hell was that?_ Frustrated at how far she still was from bringing present-day Damon back to his humanity, she performed the spell to return to 2016.

Stefan and Caroline looked up, shocked, exactly where she had left them months before.

"Bonnie!" Caroline pulled her into a hug. "You were only gone for, like, 20 minutes!"

"Really? I was there for months," Bonnie said.

Stefan, always perceptive, frowned. "What's wrong, Bonnie?"

"I didn't do it. I'm no closer to learning how to restore their humanity than I was before." She told them everything that had happened. "See? It was a waste of time. At least it was only 20 minutes of time wasted here."

Stefan looked thoughtful. "Bonnie, I think you learned more than you think."

"Oh yeah?"

"You obviously had some kind of effect on him back there."

"Whatever it was, it was probably mostly because I had some difficulties following my role in such a sexist, racist society. He kept saying I was 'different.'"

Stefan shook his head. "What if it's more than that? What if he just needs someone to break through to him who cares? 'I've never needed anyone,' you said he told you. What if you made him realize that he did?"

"Well I hate to break it to you, but Elena is too slumped to be of any help in that department," Bonnie said dryly.

But Caroline was looking at Stefan. "What are you saying?"

"Bonnie, I think you need to remind Damon that he needs you. He was different ever since you guys got back from that prison world. Kept saying you got him through it. He went crazy trying to save you when you sacrificed yourself–"

"That's nice and all but it doesn't mean that he'll turn his humanity back on for me." Bonnie didn't know why he kept pushing this. It only made things harder.

"Just think about it, alright?"

"I'll see." Bonnie hugged Caroline and nodded to Stefan. "I'm going to go home and take a nap, traveling over 50 years in time takes a toll on you."

When Bonnie got back to her house she sat in bed and flipped through her Grimoire. There didn't seem to be anything else in the spellbook that would help her.

Sighing, she thought about what Stefan had said. What if she _was_ the person who could bring him back? She didn't understand why he had gotten all weird back in the '50s. He did that sometimes, though. It had happened in the prison world a few times. She remembered when he had found her crying once when she'd been trying to hide it, overcome with distress at the prospect of being trapped there forever. He had wiped away the tears, but then he just kept staring at her. Like she would disappear or something.

She rolled her eyes at herself for dwelling on the memory. _He's gone now. It's highly doubtful that you'll be the one to save him._


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 _ **A/N: I know you guys probably thought this fic was dead, and I'm so sorry for taking so long to upload again. I have a couple of chapters written that I was being super OCD about, and I've been busy after graduating from college. Anyway, enough with the excuses. Hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!**_

Over the next few weeks, Bonnie met with Stefan and Caroline to figure out how they would track down Damon and try to turn his humanity back on with Bonnie's help. She had refused at first, but this was the best option they had. And Stefan had a nasty feeling that the longer they waited, the harder it would be. This time was different.

"This looks promising," Caroline was scanning a newspaper, sitting cross-legged on the floor of the boarding house. Bonnie peered over her shoulder. "There's been a string of murders in Nevada over the past few months. The cops there are assuming its poisonous snakes or something."

Stefan snorted at the lengths humans go to rationalize the irrational.

"I think you're onto something, Care," Bonnie said. She started a search on her laptop. "There were a ton of murders in Utah last month, too. What if Damon didn't stray that far from where we found him in California?"

"Wouldn't that be pretty stupid of him to do? Like, shouldn't he know better?" Caroline asked.

"He may not care at this point," said Stefan.

Bonnie looked at him. "Or he wants us to find him."

"So what are we gonna do once we do track him down again?" Caroline sounded nervous.

"We're going to have to shock him. Do something that will freak him out enough for him to feel something," Stefan said.

"Like what?" Bonnie didn't like the sound of this.

Stefan noticed the look on her face. "I think I have an idea. You may not like it, Bonnie, but it's all we've got. Once we confirm his location, we'll move forward with the plan."

Bonnie sighed. She doubted his plan would work, whatever it was. But what did she have to lose?

As she was driving home, Bonnie thought about how Stefan had referenced Damon's treatment towards her after the prison world. He'd said Damon had been different after she had finally returned. Her mind began to wander and she smiled, thinking about those days.

" _Pancakes again? I'm gonna puke."_

" _Until you learn how to cook, Bon-Bon, don't hate." Damon was waltzing around the kitchen like a regular Martha Stewart, apron and all. "I'm just perfecting my already perfect skills."_

 _Bonnie rolled her eyes. I think I'm gonna go into town and try to find something else to eat. Can I borrow your car?_

" _Now Bon, you know nobody can drive my car except for moi. What do I get out of it?"_

" _I'll spare you from frying your brain when I get my magic back," Bonnie said dryly._

" _Uh-uh-uh. Not good enough." He looked at her more sharply this time. "What do I get out of it?"_

 _She thought grudgingly for a moment. "I'll grab some blood bags from the hospital. I'm sure there's more variety there than you have in that freezer of yours downstairs."_

" _Fair assessment. Alright, you can borrow it. But I have to give you a lesson first."_

" _I know how to drive, Damon."_

" _I'm sure. But you don't know how to drive MY automotive beauty. She's delicate." He smirked._

 _She sighed. "Fine, but can we do it now so I don't starve? I seriously don't want any more pancakes."_

" _Suit yourself."_

 _She followed him to the driveway and into the car. When they got in, he tossed her the keys from the passenger side. Then he started pointing and explaining._

" _That's the ignition. You have to turn the key gently or it won't start. The gas pedal is iffy so be careful not to drive with a lead foot, if that's your thing…"_

 _It was never-ending. Then, finally: "How about you drive a little down the road just so I can be sure you've got it."_

 _Bonnie huffed and grumbled the whole time. She decided to fuck with him for being so difficult. As soon as she backed out of the driveway, she slammed her foot on the gas. They went flying down the road, heading for the Mystic Falls city limits._

" _What the fuck, Bonnie? Slow down, you're going to kill yourself, or worse, my car!"_

 _Bonnie laughed. "I'm sure SHE will be okay." She turned around a curve, skidding halfway off the road. They were lucky there were no other cars around. But Damon had had enough. He lifted her up, switching seats with vampire speed to try to regain control of the car. But it was too late. He had to swerve to avoid a tree, and as the car swerved again, Bonnie's head hit the dashboard. She was out cold._

 _As he pulled the car to a stop, he looked over in horror. It didn't look too bad, but he pulled her out of the Camaro and gave her some of his blood. When she woke up, she immediately started fighting him. "Let go, it's your fault you almost fucking KILLED me, Damon! Thanks a lot!" And on and on. But as she raged at him she noticed he was fighting back a smile. "What are you laughing at?"_

" _Sorry, Bon, but you're okay and honestly you're...Nothing, it's nothing."_

" _What? You think it's funny that I almost flew through your windshield after your 'lesson?'" He was just looking at her, still with that stupid almost-smile on his face. Then she realized how close together they were. She was practically sitting in his lap since he'd had to angle his slit wrist into her mouth. She jumped up and almost fell over again, still dizzy. He stood too._

 _The sun was shining in her eyes so she was squinting slightly, and still couldn't quite read his expression. She wasn't even angry anymore. She was just frustrated that he had extinguished her rage with a look._

" _I'm sorry," he said. He sounded sincere. "I'd never want to hurt you, even though you might think I do. If you were gone...I don't know what I'd to. And not just because I'd be alone here."_

 _For the first time, Bonnie realized that he meant it. He wanted her around. After that day, things were different between them. And it made surviving in the prison world a whole lot easier._

Bonnie wasn't sure if the Damon who had held her that day, and other days in the prison world was still inside his humanity-less body. But she knew there was only one way to find out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Damon Salvatore tossed aside the woman whose blood he had just drained and looked around. Something was off.

He had been wandering across the country for months, violently killing humans and drinking copious amounts of booze. Currently he was back in the west, sitting in a dusty cafe somewhere in Arizona.

He narrowed his eyes. Nothing could sneak up on him. He figured it was Enzo, finally crawling back like the sad sack of shit he was.

He was about to open his mouth to speak when he smelled it. _Her_. He could always smell her approaching before he saw her. If he actually gave a fuck, his stomach would have experienced the familiar swooping feeling that made him feel almost human when he inhaled the sweet mixture of flowers and whatever it was he couldn't put his finger on. He used to think it was magic but realized that was stupid. You can't smell things like that.

What bothered him most was that Bonnie fucking Bennett was back for more, as if she hadn't gotten the picture before. What a pain in the ass.

"I know you're here, Sabrina," he said in a fake cheery voice. He knew the nicknames got to her.

He slid out of the booth he had been sitting in, kicking the woman's body aside. She still had a faint look of surprise on her face.

"Come out and play, little witch. I ain't got all day."

He kicked another body, looking at the hot sun outside, not caring about anything in particular. And then she was there. Dark curls shining, green eyes blazing, looking as angry as ever. He remembered how much he liked this look. Pissed Bonnie. This meant something was going to happen. This was don't-mess-with-me-or-I'm-going-to-fry-your-brain Bonnie.

Then evil clicked on in his brain and he thought only of the sound of the blood rushing through her veins.

Bonnie knew she had been looking at Damon, _their_ Damon, for at least a few moments before the bloodthirsty grimace returned. It consoled her.

Caroline and Stefan were at their car, parked a bit up the deserted road. Why he chose this place, she couldn't say. Then she stifled a shudder when she realized that it was probably devoid of any signs of human life _because_ of him.

"It's time to let him go," she addressed the thing she knew was possessing him.

"I'm exactly where I need to be, Bonnie," he said, popping the "B" slightly in a horrible imitation of his usual self.

"Come back," she was addressing the real Damon now. His eyes flickered again. "I want you to come back because I miss you." She stared into his eyes. "I _want_ you back. Just you."

She had finally realized what he had meant back in the '50s. He needed to be enough for someone. He needed to be valued for something deeper than what he represented. Something to be fixed. To Katherine, to Elena. It wasn't a deep enough need. So she continued, even though it scared her to death.

"I know you're not mine but I want you like you are. I couldn't have gotten through the prison world without you. And I don't mean if I had been alone," she quoted him. "Caroline, Stefan, not even Elena could have gotten me through it like you did. I know you care and I know you're afraid to. So I'm not going to lie to you and I'm not going to feed you that best friend bullshit we always give each other. If it means getting you back I have to tell you."

Her voice shook a little and she closed her eyes for a second to calm herself. When she opened them she saw the man who had been sitting in the road, waiting for someone to talk to, struggling with who he was. The man who had wished he could die with the impact of an unsuspecting car, who used the momentary pain of that impact to feel, just a little. She saw the man who spared the Kelly family even with his humanity off. The same man who had held her as she cried in the prison world when she had wanted to give up. This Damon was hers.

He studied her. She could tell he had forced his way back through, overpowering the evil that had taken up residence in his body, or in his soul, whatever it was. "Why are you here? Why are you telling me this, it doesn't–"

She talked over him. "You're mine," she said. She took a breath. "You're mine because I see you. You're mine because you don't have to hurt, you don't have to be this horrible person who I forgive out of the goodness of my heart. You're mine because I know why you hurt and how to make you own up to it and end it. So just stop. Come home."

His eyes were wide and he looked slightly confused. Then she saw it. Perfect timing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

More suddenly than she had ever seen before, Bonnie watched Damon's fangs ascend as the veins around his eyes rippled and turned red. When his eyes reddened, it was more frightening because something else was prompting this. The thing inside him had been provoked.

She didn't try to run when he lunged at her and sank his teeth into her neck. She didn't scream as she felt the blood leaving her body, which was growing weaker every second. Something else was dragging her into blackness, too. The evil inside him was lashing out, and she was letting it.

"I think it's time. I think I heard something," Caroline said. She looked at Stefan and he nodded. She gunned the engine and they pulled up to the diner. It looked vacant.

Then Stefan saw them. He rushed into the diner with Caroline at his heels just in time to see that Damon had nearly drained Bonnie of all her blood. Caroline saw Bonnie look up at them and then she was unconscious. Caroline looked at Stefan again. He inclined his head, barely this time, and they attacked from behind, wrenching Damon away and throwing him to the ground. He looked less human than ever.

"Wait for it," Stefan instructed as they held him back. Damon leapt to his feet, still struggling under their grasp to get to Bonnie.

Then Stefan saw it. He caught a glimpse of Damon behind the wild eyes that weren't his.

"DAMON!"

It all happened at once. Caroline broke a chair leg with vamp speed and staked him in the stomach just as he broke free and saw Bonnie's crumpled form laying in front of him. His cries of agony filled the diner.

"You killed her," Stefan yelled over him. He knew it wasn't true, but he also knew what that knowledge would do. "You killed her."

Damon heard those words through his own yells as he felt the wood pierce his abdomen, and somehow the pain there was less than the pain he felt everywhere else upon hearing those words. Something in him snapped, and as he yelled, he felt the evil inside him dying. Its wrath was nothing compared to his. His pain. His guilt. He was more broken than he had ever been in his life.

Bonnie Bennett was dead and it was his fault.

Did this mean Elena would be back? He didn't know, and he wasn't surprised to find that he didn't care. All he cared about was what he had done. It was unforgivable, that's what it was. He would never forgive himself. She was gone, just like that.

"Bonnie…"

He struggled to stand, feeling the overpoweringly familiar waves of guilt that meant he was himself again. He couldn't stand it. He shut his eyes, ready to block everything out, of his own accord this time. He couldn't keep feeling this and he knew it wouldn't stop if he didn't do it. He missed her already. Her eyes, her smile, her rapid heartbeat when she was around him. He could almost still hear it.

Damon opened his eyes. He _could_ still hear it.

"Holy fuck–Bonnie–WAKE UP!"

He ripped open his own wrist and raised it to her lips, forcing her to drink. When her eyes fluttered, his body filled with something different. Joy? Relief? Something else. He didn't want to admit anything more, even to himself.

Then icy blue met emerald green and his smile was wide enough to break his face.


End file.
